I ♥

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Monday, June 29, 2009

I really felt sleepy all day long since it was about 12:30 AM when I fell asleep last night. it's because I was still nervous about my bro's laptop which I almost broke in no purpose at all. and without actually doing anything wrong with it, nagkataon lang talaga that I was the one using it.

All day long, I feel so bored. Well, exept for the free times, of course! but you know what keeps me going to school?

It's *toooot*. my one and only inspiration. of course, the name can't be displayed. well, you can make a guess, but I can't tell you if it's right.

Early this morning, he's the one on my mind since the radio in the service kept playing stupid love songs. And wild imaginations started...

like...

What if when I get to school, he'll be the first face I'll see? What if we'll be as close as how we are in my mind? You know, sort of things that are imaginable yet impossible to ever happen.

Anyway, I got to go and study for now. I have lots of things to read esp. in English and Filipino. So, tell me how my brain will work? English then Filipino?

and hell yea, I've got to go to school because I want to see him. :)

Sunday, June 28, 2009

First, I had an iPod shuffle. After like 3 years, it got broken. I was pretty sad about that. and then after months, my brother bought us, me and my sis, new mp3. mine was pink, and hers was white. unfortunately, hers got broken after some weeks, so brother needed to buy a new one which turned out to be black.

and as in UNFORTUNATELY, mine got the next spot. it was broken after like 10 months. I was really, really sad about it. I kept on trying to fix it, but it's really broken. and so, I just use my mom's phone or dad's to listen to music since my phone can't accommodate a lot of songs. it can only have like 5-8 songs.

and so, I gave up borrowing my mom's and dad's phones, so I just borrowed my sis' old one which as I've said on my first blog, can only accommodate 60 songs.

but the weird, and sad part.
of all those broken mp3 and iPod... I've already broken 6 earphones. Including one headphone/headset.

First was my iPod's earphones, the left didn't worked anymore. The next, was my brother's earphones, the other side too got broken. Third, was my mp3's earphones, the other side too got broken. Forth was the headset, I think, I accidentally tripped on the cord and then it fell to the ground, so the other side too was defected. When my brother got his iPod, he gave me his earphones, the Philips one. I told him I will really take care of it, and then after months, of course, the other side got broken. I don't why they kept on breaking.

And as of now, the last one that I've broke was my sister's earphones in her mp3. In just a sedden, it won't work. and then it worked, but with the same defect, only one side works now.

I don't know what am I doing wrong with them. maybe I'm tripping on them when I'm lying on my bed.

But I really didn't care much though. because for me, it doesn't matter how many iPods or mp3 I have accidentally broken, and no matter how many earphones I broke, as long as I can listen to any music, LIFE IS HERE AT ALL.

and this days, I'm contented with one-sided earphone. I have to save up money just because I want too. I can't waste money anymore like last year.

so, because I love music, I love my life. (but maybe sometimes, I hate being me.)

Saturday, June 27, 2009

2:20 PM

it's been like four hours since I started surfing the net today. I'm only with my eldest brother today, they left home for some reasons early in the morning.

my playlist is random today. and to as I listen, the next song is "At the Cross" of Hillsong United. something just touched my very soul. it felt so strange since I've been listening to this song since I became a member of YFC here in Mendez.

to reflect, the first line says, "Oh, Lord you've searched me, you know my ways." as I've known, it's a passage in the Bible, in Psalms 139, not sure of what verse. but I'm pretty sure, it's in chapter 139.

I just feel how God loves us. all of us. if he doesn't, we won't be able to do every little thing we do. Everything that's been happening is in His own will for our good.

He's always been looking for us. searching our inner souls, hoping to find Himself in it. and to be disappointed enough, sometimes, we lose His ways in us. but no matter how much we block Him in, He still knows everything about us. He's more than just best friend who probably knows everything within you. everything about you. He knows who exactly you are, and every little thing you feel inside.

"Even when I fail You, I know You love me."
We fail Him. as I've known, it's also in the Psalm 139. amazing isn't it? Worship/praise songs respond to the what the Bible says.
Most of the time, we do wrong, don't we? we always do the things that upsets Him. we choose to do the things that he doesn't want us to do so. But even though we ignore Him... still, He loves us! The reason why you still can do those things, is just because He loves you so much!

there's also a song that says the same, "A thousand times I failed, still Your mercy remains", and that says how much God truly loves us. Just look back... Have you ever done something for Him?or jsut done something for YOUR own good?

"Your holy presence surrounding me in every season, I know You love me"
He has always protected you. if He haven't, then think of the reason why your little wound got healed? it isn't because of the betadine. it isn't because you pore alcohol on it. it doesn't matter how it hurt you. and it isn't because the elastic bandage protected it from germs.

He doesn't count the time. for He holds the time. He controls it. Time may be so fast. You may slip off the time. It may be "wrong timing" for something. but He doesn't care about time! all he cares for is You. He loves You, dude. He does so much...

That's the chorus of the song...
I praise God.
He's given up the most important thing to Him, His ONLY Son. There's never going to be greater love than what He's devoted on us. See how much He loves us? He made his Son an instrument for us to be spared from our selfishness! from OUR own sins!

I can never turn away from Him now. NEVER EVER! Would you turn away from Him when I say, it's your fault why Jesus died? IT'S YOUR FAULT WHY GOD HAS TO SACRIFICE HIS OWN SON!
"You go before me. You shield my way. Your hand upholds me. I know You love me"
He lifts us up whenever we fall down. Have you ever wonder why you can still put your chin up when you just fell down? Did you ever know it's God's hand lifting your chin up?

He's always there before and behind and beside you. all you need is just Faith in HIM. Enough faith. He doesn't need money to protect you, He doesn't need any material things to save you from any form of harm. all he needs is just YOUR FAITH. lift everything to Him, for He'll bestow to you all that you ask for.

"And when the earth fades Falls from my eyes And You stand before me I know You love me"

He can take away this world. Anytime in anyway He wanted. But he still hopes, that you will find your way to Him. He's always willing to wait for you for you are His child. He made every strand of your hair, he knows how many are they. He knows when you hve been born. He knows you exactly. For He is Our Father. He is someone more than you think He is.


"You tore the veil, You made a way when You said that it is done."
When the veil in the temple was torn into equally two parts, isn't it amazing? Jesus died, but he still made a miracle! What's that for? To show how He loves us! It showed that His son has already died! It's His way to tell us how much He loves us. How much He's willing to give up everything for YOU...
He'll be waiting for You. He's calling You. Every breath you take, He's calling out Your name. He wants you.... To be in His righteous way.

Today is Saturday.
I slept late 12:30 AM. I just finished writing my draft for the next chapter of my story in Quizilla. As I was writing last night, tons of ideas popped into my mind that I can't handle to write them down all. Writing with my violet pen, I just thought that maybe those ideas are just for tonight, maybe the next days, I won't like them at all. Maybe what's for today isn't for tomorrow.

I really slept a little earlier than before. I used to sleep for like 3:00AM if it's weekend, but I really feel the change now. School's really making changes you can never avoid. Well, practically, you can like those changes anyway.

So, what I'm here for is really for what's today.
I woke up approximately 9:45AM. I listened to some songs before getting up. I listened to some "senti" songs I just added on my mp3 last night. and to mention, it isn't MY mp3 at all. Mine got broken, so I borrowed my sister's old one which can only accomodate at least 60 songs, lame isn't it?

I was stared at my window just beside my bed who's curtained red violet. Something's been bothering me these days, but whenever I try to figure what is it, my mind gets so empty. I'm just not that happy these days. NOT SO MUCH happy as I always seem to be. Something's not right. Something's deeply not right within me.

But anyway, today's weekend! why not try to be happy, right?
and to think, I have tons of works to do. Quizzes and assignments are here listed on my post-it.

After being satified with a few songs, I decided to get up and take a bath. after awhile, I am here, sitting infront of the computer, keeping myself busy writing down my thoughts.
I separated the window for the things I need to write, it's this and quizilla. and the other one's for social websites.

Writing's always been my passion. I often intended to have a diary, but since there are online sites where I can jot down what I feel, there's no need of Diary anymore.

I wrote a story in Quizilla. though only few read it, I still continue writing. friend of mine has a lot of readers, and I actually find her as an inspiration in writing. and I really can't write nicely without listening to any music.


So, what's for today?
I can see the bright shining sun outside the windows. Will anything good happen for today? Like some sort of thing that can brighten up my day?

Let's see...

Labels: first blog