WHY NOT ME: "What is it that keeps me hanging on to every word you say? What is it that keeps me holding on to you? Because you're stuck in my head like my favorite song. You put the scene on pause. It still plays on. It's chapter 3. It's hard to breathe. The words are slowly fading. Stop and go in lunch on a busy street. Bumper to bumper this empty seat. Without you here, I get no where. I ask, "Why not me? "
I already moved on. So let's stop talking about you. I'm never gonna blog about you again (even if I still can't stop thinking of you). I'm just gonna keep it all by myself and slowly let it all go. But I wanna tell you this one, if only my heart could speak... it will probably be shouting how much I've felt and how I'm over you now.
BEFORE: you're the one I choose. Whatever you ask, I'll do. 'Cause I care so much about you. You're always on my mind. I need you to be by my side. I want you to be mine oh mine For all time.
NOW and Forever: I replay it over and over again, you were my boy now we ain't even friends. You could've been my all or nothing, all or nothing. Now to me you're nothing. boy you're nothing. Now you're nothing.
So.
A lot of things happened. As always. And I never thought it will be like this.
First, I actually forgot to tell y'all that we won first place in the Band Marching competition for the Juniors. OMG. It was awesome... that feeling you get when you least expected to win and then you heard your section being announced as the First Place... it's just plainly awesome. If only you know how much we prayed and tell Him we're not there to win, we're there to enjoy. That's all we know 'til the end. Expecting nothing and receiving more than everything you've asked for. That's just one of the bests in this world. Thank You, Lord God... for letting us experience such activity. We slowly realize that it is always gonna be about You. That whatever we ask for, You give us more than that. You just wait for the perfect time for those things. Getting the first place is enough out of eight sections... But then, you have us the Best In Uniform/Costume award. That's even enough. But still, you gave us the Best Drum Major award--the first girl to win the award. And for that, may God be praised.
Second, I was chosen to be one of the dancers to compete in the Buwan ng Wika celebration (annually celebrated). Out of almost 300 sutdents in our level, I was included. I feel grateful. SO much. Although we only won the 2nd place for this, it's still a blessing, it's real good. We've worked hard for this, the forty of us... Know what I experienced? Hardships. Awkward moments more than you'll ever know. I was paired with the person I least expected to be paired to be, I was actually wishing it's not him. But when my name was called, our teacher called him in a 'wrong' name. HAHA. Whatever. It was actually so difficult for me to talk or even look at someone who was linked to you almost two years ago. Now that he has a 'new' girl, how can I possibly get near him when after 'us', we never even gazed at each other AGAIN. It was awkward. i didn't like it. I wasn't comfortable. But heck all these are just part of it. The best part is performing there on the gymnasium... smiling... smiling and projecting even if your heels are stuck and tripping on your costume. Because all I can ever think that time is, 'this is the last that we'll be dancing this dance. I can just give it all and exit knowing I've done my part. I don't care who's my partner, I don't care about our so called 'past'. I don't care because this can actually be my last to be doing this. Give it my best. God has the rest.' :') Even if winning the sense of it all, it doesn't matter now (but I know we disappointed the teacher who worked hard, truly, for this) as long as I know how to treasure those 'moments'--awkward, dehydrating, bruises, sweats, everything that explains EXHAUSTED. I'm still thanking Him. Only Him.
Third, we'll be competing in the Bible Quiz Bee tomorrow at Makati. See... There are more than a thousand students in our school, and of nine students to be competing, I was chosen to be included. What more can I ask for?
Forth, SYC. I never thought I can actually join the creative competitions. Photography. :') >
"Many are called, but few are chosen"
I'm grateful. End of story. :')
I'm too sleepy. I can't think of anything... but to finish chapter 19 of WBM2B and sleep.
:)
♥ life sent to Kyu
5:30 PM
Friday, August 20, 2010