I ♥

SO HOW DO YOU END THE YEAR RIGHT?

Anyway... This is my 2nd Christmas on blogspot and 2nd New Year to be exact. Though my 2010 is really all plunked up and made me feel so miserable and worst person ever lived in the world, it just couldn't be any memorable anyhow.

And that this blog has always been a part of all my stupidity, special and awkward moments, kvs, bvs, and... stupidty.

I can't clearly remember the start of my 2010 well... Of course, I can clearly remember the latter parts which is like... a month or two ago. But I know it wasn't perfect, not even half as much as perfect as yours. And honestly speaking, my 2010 is all fvck up. I don't know, it just couldn't be any worse.

Or is it just filled with bad memories rather than good ones that I should be treasuring? Or am I just really stupid.

So many things happened. So many things I didn't even foresee. Some many things beyond my expectations. So many things far from my disappointments and happiness. All in one year, it all summed up to a year of my 15 year-long life.

Well honestly... right now, I can't think of anything but KPOP. Yeah, you know that I've been addicted recently. Or to be specific, my bias groups: Super Junior, SHINee, SNSD, CN Blue, BEAST, TVXQ, 2ne1, SM The Ballad... Should I mention my BIASES? For Super Junior... ALL. But in different levels, lol. I like Kyuhyun the best, next is Yesung, next is Donghae. ♥ Plus, Leeteuk and Sungmin. PERFECT. But of course, you just have to love Heechul for his funny personality together with Eunhyuk. That sexy abs of Siwon... and cute Ryeowook. AND BIG SHINDONG! :"> LOOOOL.

No, seriously, I love Super Junior... Maybe not as much as other fangirls do, but I know it from myself, I just really do. ♥ Deep down in me, they play a huge part in my 2010 life. Yeah, I started being addicted to kpop just this year. It all started with CNBlue, my closest (kpop) friends know that. All kpop fans know that... each started with a certain group and everything just grew wider. That's KPOP WORLD I love.

Lately, I've been thinking about Yesung so much. BOO. But I guess I was just too fanatic, really. Srsly, call me crazy but I have these little stories built up in my head for each of the member. And how wonderful things could turn out to be. Like other fangirls... I have myself and the protagonist. I had with Kyuhyun, Yesung, of course, Donghae, Leeteuk... those cute CLEAN stories I made up inside my crazy head. Yeah, they're all clean. I do not think LUST like in some tv dramas or movies. You know, just for the fun of it. To be honest, I never thought about them being half naked, lol. Though in the cyberworld, you'd see their sexy bodies displayed off for the fans.

I just had to agree to someone in Tumblr... that they should stop showing off their bodies and save some for their future wifes. Hahaha.

BEAST is the group that I like each and every member.

I started with Junhyung first... because he's just soooo cool. I don't think anybody can disagree with that. But then again... There's Kikwang, that cute little.... UGH! He's just so cute! Plus that not-Korean looking Dongwoon. The leader Doojoon... High-toned voice Yoseob. and yes... I don't know if I'm his bias but I kkinda like him for so many unexplainable reasons... Hyunseung!

SHINee World. I'm just so part of it. *if only I had the chance to watch their Japan Concert, ugh*

I liked Onew first. hahaha always that way. Then Taemin. HIS DANCE MOVES KILL ME!!! That voice of Jjong (especially with SM The Ballad). I even confessed once... I LIKE THE VOICE OF ONEW, TAEMIN'S DANCE, KEY'S CUTENESS AND MINHO'S RAP. BUT I NEVER LIKED A SINGLE THING ABOUT JJONG (to the fact that he has the same name as Jonghyun of CN Blue *my bias lol*). But with SM The Ballad, I seem to like him. :)

SNSD... though I was disappointed when they won the Daesang... or whatever you call it in GDA. Still, I like them. I know SJ deserved it MORE. Maybe that's just how it's supposed to be. :) GO SNSD forever! Seohyun's my fave since she's in WGM with Yonghwa. hihihi. But she's the maknae, I have this certain thing with Maknaes... Like Kyuhyun, Dongwoon, Taemin and Jino.

2NE1... all because of Sandara Park. ♥ TVXQ... Yunho, the leader, is my fave though I got to know Jaejoong first. It's just... wtf JYJ. :||| I know some cassies would hate me, but if you want to perform with the 5 of you again, stop that JYJ thingy. :||||| HoMin couldn't do any better without you, we all know that. But they hold the 'TVXQ'. 7 years, you stayed for 5 years together and just threw everything awaaaaaay. stfu. :|||| Upsets me big time!

My phone (since I'm not using my iPod anymore...) is all filled up with kpop songs. 600+ songs... more than half is all kpop. GEEZ. What happened to me, LOL.

BLAME SUPER JUNIOR, SHINee, BEAST, SNSD, 2NE1, TVXQ & SM THE BALLAD for that! :))

I'm a fan of SME artists, did you notice that? It's just that I can't understand SME sometimes... making it too hard for them (artists) to even live a life of their own. At least... give them a break like Cube Entertainment for BEAST. Hush... yeah, :) just keep them in good health, please? Couldn't bear seeing them restless.

Basically... I think my 2010 was/is/whatever all about KPOP. :")

Call me crazy or freak. But this fun side of me with kpop can actually be a misery too.

I CAN'T BEAR WHEN IT'S LIKE AN HOUR WITHOUT ANYTHING KPOP. I totally get irritated... I just need to listen even to a song or two... Just not too long without it. See, kpop is like a drug to me.

I GO ONLINE, I GO WATCH KPOP VIDEOS. Yeah, that's why I'm psychologically crazy since they said you shouldn't stay in the computer for more than two hours. I can quadruple it, or even make it 24-hour mark.

I CAN'T STOP WRITING THEIR NAMES. Though I don't know Hangul... I know Romanji, just quite. I just know a few words. It's not only because of kpop, kdrama too.

I WAKE UP WITH KPOP SONG, I SLEEP WITH EARPHONES ON, I DREAM WITH THEM ON IT. Yeah, I just start the day by listening to kpop songs, and sleep on it too. LOL

I HAVE A THOUSAND KPOP PHOTOS FROM RANDOM FANSITES ON MY HANDPHONE. Good thing it's not memory due yet. hahahaha

I EVEN MADE A FANFICTION... with Donghae as the main character. That should complete the Super Junior members, my supposed to be next target is Yesung, but unfortunately, I don't have enough time and right mood to write it. But the story is in my head all ready.

MY TUMBLR DASH IS KYUHYUN FOR OVER TWO MONTHS. Now it's Yesung. Now my theme is Yesung too.

MY FACEBOOK IS JJONG. All because I cannot find anything kpop anymore, it's just him!

MY HANDPHONE'S WALLPAPER FOR OVER TWO MONTHS IS KYUHYUN TOO. I changed it to BEAST, but now it's Yesung too. LMAO.

I PUT DESKTOP BUDDIES WITH THE COMPLETE SUPER JUNIOR MEMBERS. But I only used them all before, it freaking slows down the computer. My Mom would kill me.

I WISHED FOR ANYTHING RELATED TO KPOP DURING OUR CHRISTMAS PARTY. I received a SHINee Lucifer album. TWO OF THEM actually.

I BOUGHT BONAMANA ALBUM as a Christmas present for myself. I am happy like YEAH!

I PUT THE SHINee Poster on my room's door.

I PUT UP A KPOP CORNER ON MY WALL NEAR MY BED. Finally. :)

I WATCH INKIGAYO, MUSIC BANK, MUSIC CORE PERFORMANCES ONLINE. Because we don't have KBS or whatsoever in our cable. Boo.

I TRY MY BEST TO CATCH KPOP MVs ON CHANNEL V. Even had to stay up till 4 am because it has video scope of SNSD's mvs.

I RECENTLY CRIED BECAUSE OF HEECHUL ENLISTING TO THE ARMY NEXT YEAR. It broke my heart knowing that I always laugh at him with my sister that he cannot dance that well and that he doesn't open his mouth widely when singing that he's everything imperfect. BUT HE CURRENTLY BROKE MY HEART WITH THE BREAKING NEWS. Y U NO WAIT FOR ANOTHER YEAR? ehhh?

I DL-ED SOME TUTORIAL VIDS FOR SOME KPOP DANCE STEPS, e.g. Lucifer and Hello, and... Ring Ding Dong. I learned quite some... But not the full dance. It's freaking hard. I also learned some of I don't care, No other, Bonamana, Sorry Sorry, Gee, Hoot, Hello, Lucifer, Ring Ding Dong (my favorite, haha).

I RECORDED MY OWN VOICE SINGING SNSD'S MISTAKE, SHINee's HELLO, SJ'S ANGEL AND NO OTHER... I just didn't upload them all in my YT account. :D

I TRY MY BEST TO MEMORIZE KPOP SONGS. That's really hard for me because clearly, I'm a fluently Filipino speaking, English can do too... But Korean is just hard... even harder than Japanese??? I was able to memorize (but not perfectly) SJ's Angel, In My Dream, No Other, Bonamana, Sorry Sorry, SNSD's Mistake, Gee, SHINee's Hello, some parts of Lucifer and Ring Ding Dong... Though I first memorized Utada Hikaru's First Love when I was still elementary, hihihi.

I LOVE KPOP TO THE EXTENT THAT I DON'T CARE IF I DON'T HAVE LOVELIFE. :) That says it all. :')

I LOVE KPOP MORE THAN ANYTHING. That's what I usually think about... But I still have friends and family over kpop. and GOD. :D

I TWEET SO MUCH ABOUT KPOP. Followers may unfollow me, but true friends remain. :")

There are just too many things I have to confess about kpop. But since this is my year ender blog... I want to make it more general. HAHAH SORRY FOR KPOP SPAMS.

LAST THING ABOUT KPOP.

Is that I owe it or them (the kpop groups) for who I am now. I just learned so many things from them not only being a fanatic alone... It's more than that. :') Sometimes, they perceive me to study harder and start the day right or end the day right. Now to even end the year right. I just learned how to be strong? I guess because these people have gone through so much, oh people... Maybe some of you just don't know that. They're the best influence for me. Because if they're not, I won't be sticking to them this long. :)

It's not just obsession or anything negative... :) IT'S JUST SOME LOVE I FOUND IN KPOP AND THAT IT WILL ALWAYS BE A PART OF ME FOR YEARS TO COME!

:D

BUT IT WASN'T JUST ALL ABOUT KPOP, though that's how it is for me now.

I've got wonderful family, thanks!

I got beautiful friends, SHE REPUBLIC FOREVER! *that someday, we'll be the SHE Republic, the girl version of Super Junior since we're 13 hahaha*

(click to enlarge to see these beautiful faces!)

I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS MY GRATITUDE AND EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW. But whatever we had gone through this year, it's gonna be a big treasured memory in me. :')

I LOVE YOU ALL. MORE THAN KPOP. ONLY FAMILY, FRIENDS AND GOD. :)

Yes, WE ALL HAVE WISHES TO MAKE NEXT YEAR! 11-11-11!!! :)

ONLY THIS FOR NOW. :') I still have lots more to day, maybe just not today. :)

I LOVE MY READERS FOREVER TOO!!!!

♥ P.S. No family picture here. :PPP Maybe next time! Trying not to get exposed!

In a week, a lot had just happened. How do I start... Hmm.

Well... After a week, I still fall for Super Junior, lol. Yeah, nothing changes. By the way, I actually forgot to blog that during the South Korea-North Korea bombing... I actually prayed for peace for both companies and that I did not mention about KPOP in my twitter account that whole day. I just tweeted hoping for peace. Why? Because as I've said, those dark days... It was more about peace rather than being selfishly thinking of KPOP. Get it, get it (♪oh♫)? :) But now, I'm back endlessly tweeting about my thoughts and reactions and my sentiments. Boo.

And right now, my addiction's BEAST. I've known them for quite long now, but it's just now that I thought, 'Ooh, don't I get bored with SuJu?' so I watched some vids of these B2ST guys and POOF! Turns out that, yes... I don't get bored with SJ. But I really like ALL of BEAST members. Though I'm really a Junhyung bias... I srsly like all the members. All are soooo good looking and cute. and well, what more can I say... ♥ Plus, their songs are freakishly CUTE too!

Sandra and I were talking about KPop yesterday at school since we were kind of doing nothing that time, and YEA! She likes TVXQ so much! I know I'm not that into dbsk as much as her but still... we share the same interests! ♥ And she was like talking about some funny moments of SJ which I was so interested about. ♥ KPOP addicts collision!

There are so many SM The Ballad debut performances... and I was all YouTube-ing all of them, hihi. Through allkpop, that's why. And I must say they're really awesome-st! Those voices... *melts*. But there's this one performance, in which Jay weren't present, that Kyuhyun looked so damn tired and exhausted. SME, hello? Don't you know that these talents need rest too? Or it's just that Kyuhyun's too talented. lol. Because.. SM The Ballad, Super Show 3, The Musical, what else... He's such a busy artist. I don't want to see him that tired anymore. No more sad Kyuhyun, please? Anyway, their Hot Times performance on Music Core is really awesome and I was just amazed by Jino. GOOD POWERFUL HIGH VOICE--which all four of them has. ♥

For some reasons, I miss SHINee live performances... When's their comeback stage? Hmm. Can't wait for 2011! That's the same reason why I keep on listening to their songs... Hmm.

Oh, btw... I so wanna watch SS3-Manila!! Why is it on the same month as TS's concert? Ow. Plus, I guess the tickets will be sold out as early as the end of December. I envy those who already claimed their tickets. T____T How come I'm gonna miss the chance or even the last? chance to see the ten of them perform live in Manila? Imagine... Donghae and Kyuhyun. :( Plus Henry and Zhou mi is coming with them... And... that's LIVE, people. 12 people in a 7K or 6K ticket. Isn't it worth it? Plus thousands ELFs there. Oh, how I wish I can show my support for SJ. :(

(and btw, I can't watch TS's concert, there were rumors that it was already sold out and honestly, I cried before sleeping that night... because during her supposed-to-be concert last October, I was to attend, but the again... it was cancelled. and now I can't watch the real one. *sniff sniff* PLUS the ticket's too expensive. Booooo!)

There's no way I'll ever fall out of love for kpop these days. ♥

SO yea. As said... I have stories to tell.

It's already Christmas season and and I fvcking can't feel it. Hohoho. Santa? Err. Not as excited as before.

You know... that feeling when you're really excited about everything that's gonna happen this season... I don't have that feeling. That feeling when 'yes! Christmas vacation's coming!' and so I don't also have those vibes. Why? For some reasons... we've never been this broke. :'(

Though it's said that money won't ever matter than anything else. That there are so many other things in life that's more important than money. Well, let's face it. It's not always gonna be that way that those words are effective.

Money is somehow essential in our lives. For real. Let's be realistic, we can't live without money.

It's really been a while since I'm keeping everything inside. But I have a sentiment that we are having problems financially... something I never saw coming. If it was, then I should have started chasing every dream before when we still have some at hand.

You can say I'm crazy for minding such businesses, something that my parents should be taking care of. But it can be too easy for you to say that, but I have a life. And money has always been there for me. But truth be said... Money won't ever go after you, you have to chase after them. Though executive rich people... money works for them, not them for money.

Practically, exam's next week.

And the day after exam's the Christmas Party. And so... We'll never get the chance to have Christmas shopping because yeah, we're that broke. No, not even a little fun. :(

I was a bit and a whole bunch of psychotically disappointed. :( Boo.

WHY? Because in our school... Christmas Party is like... a fashion day? It's the only day for a whole school year that we'll ever wear civilian clothes, that's why it's somewhat FASHION Day.

Now I don't have anything to wear... They just don't understand how this day could be sooooo memorable for a high school student like me. :( Plus... WHAT WILL I GIVE TO THE PERSON I PICKED FOR THE EXCHANGE GIFT? Omo. He'll die in vain! :)))) Because how can I buy a gift for him? OW :( Anybody, Kill Me Now! So I'm actually thinking of skipping that day, Christmas Party. I'm planning not to attend... well my mom understand why I should not attend the said party coz if ever... I'll be the only one attending without new clothes. I was a bit glad she does understand me. But it was my father who can't seem to understand. He was being to practical, but please. Be REALISTIC this time.

You just don't know this school is so cool and I'm gonna be so out off trends if I'll go with what's in my closet now.

I was teary-eyed when I said I won't just attend the party. :'( I just missed too many events for this school year.

But still, I just can't put the blame on my parents alone.

Not even a pinch.

I've been receiving a thousand and five hundred bucks as an allowance per week. How much do a meal cost in out school? Fifty bucks is enough. So I could prolly spend just a five-hundred bucks a week and save the one thousand left. But HECK I DIDN'T! And now I don't have savings. :( To admit it, I bought nonsense things like magazines (which means LIFE to me, you know that...), books (which I can't find enough time to read them all...), accessories (which are not even allowed at school). I just wasted the opportunity to form myself a productive person. If only I saved money from the start, I could have saved a 10K bucks, right? Or even more!

So NOW I BLAME MYSELF. :(

Though there were weeks when I didn't receive allowance because my parents were really cut short. So I had to spend my savings back then, maybe one of the reasons I can't save money because the next week, I'll be using my own money as allowance.

Life svck too much this year.

...well at least for me, it really did.

What makes things worse is that they kind of think of money more than meeee. Boo. Oh, these teenage dramas. :| Of course, I understand that they find money, but could they just find time with me? BOO.

Life couldn't get any worse than this. Same reason... Being broke makes it impossible for me to watch SS3 or TS's concert. :|

On the other hand... I have my own sentiments too for him. :(

Or am I just being childish once again? Boo. (I hate saying BOO, don't i? Lol)...

there's just really something wrong... I can't clearly figure it out that well, but of course. One of SHE knows... one of my closest friends knows. So two people knows the story behind this. I'm not having a problem with him, I'm having a problem with myself by myself. Thinking too much, I guess? Or am I being too sensitive? Or I'm just expecting too much. Or there's just really something wrong going on.

There's really something different. But then again... I put in mind that LOVE is about acceptance so I try my best to accept him the way he is. Bow.

What is that wrong with me? lol. I hate myself.

I and my servicemates even made codenames for the people we've been talking about 'illegally'... Mine's MMY, theirs are DTNY, and *oh, I forgot the other one, fvvvvvck!*. Anyway, I found it really funny though. Hihihi. Of course, we can't just talk about these people in an isolated place... loljk. with others surrounding us. So we made these cute little codenames. WE JUST OMITTED SOME LETTERS FOR THE WORDS THAT DESCRIBE THEM BEST. =))))

Ooookay.

Speaking of service... I hate this sentiment against it also. I don't freaking wanna remember it, but I posted that on my tumblr. If you wanna know it, just read it. :|

I was really insulted. And I wanted to insult them back. And there are those... whom I hate now. LOLJK.

STOP THE DRAMA.

My life shortens every single day, hour, minute. So I can't just waste time on these things.

DONE.

OUT.

Still broke. :(