Monday, March 28, 2011
13th.
딜 규,
아이왓 드라잉두윳 항굴... 읻 삯 케케케 ^__^
Anyway...
I should stop listening to slow songs of SNSD, haha it will just make me post a sad chapter in AFF. =)
I can't call my vacation BORING 'yet'... Well so far, I can update as often as I want! Plus... sleeping at around five or six in the morning, waking up in the afternoon... Unhealthy practices, I know. :)) But I feel so freeeeeeee!!!!
I have nothing much to write... Seriously, nothing memorable is happing in my life right now, I just go with the flow.
Wake up... eat lunch... watch some Korean dramas... sit infront of the computer screen--trying to figure out what to do-update, blog, tweet spam, facebook, youtube, or watch some SNSD videos I got from my sister...go upstairs and sleep. That's my every day routine as of these days... I miss school somehow. I'm scared to enter college though I know it's gonna be another high school year before that... T_T
I'm gonna keep myself busy updating...
I haven't heard that much from you... Wae. T_T
♥,
S.S.H.
♥ life sent to Kyu
4:44 PM
Sunday, March 27, 2011
12th
Dear Kyu,
I feel down today... Not real down... I mean... It's just that Anne and I updated with both very saaaad chapters. TT_TT
Plus... I know you wouldn't want to talk about this but she actually included the accident that happened to you back in 2007. I wasn't ELF yet that time but I've heard about that long ago. And to my curiosity, I read the article. It's just sad that I don't know you guys yet. I hear SUPER JUNIOR but I don't know them...
But honestly, life before you guys... is just plainly boring. When I got to know this KPop thing and then there's Super Junior... it feels like God painted my life perfectly.
And I promise... I will never stop thanking God for giving you the chance again to stand up on every stage performances of Super Junior, sing to everyone... and make us forget how horrible it was when you're in the verge on death.
The article that I actually submitted to our school newspaper was that one... Of how A MIRACLE YOU ARE TO ME, AND TO ALL THE OTHER ELFS around the world.
Yes. You're a miracle. :')
I wish you wouldn't hate me for talking about this stuffs right now... I just want you to know I'd always be praying for the safety of the whole Super Junior, the fifteen of you... and the whole fandom of SJ. ELF. ♥
So here, letting you read that article...
"Most of us are avid fans of KPOP nowadays, and surely, Super Junior is on the top of our list. This boy group originally consisted of thirteen boys but this year, they have been performing with only ten members namely Leeteuk, Yesung, Siwon, Ryeowook, Shindong, Donghae, Sungmin, Heechul, Eunhyuk and Kyuhyun. But we also have to consider former members like Kibum, who focused on his acting career, Hangeng, SJ-M’s leader before, Henry, the youngest, Zhou Mi (who was with them in their early career) and Kangin who entered military.
Each KPOP star has their own story.
During an accident, Kyuhyun’s ribs were piercing his lungs because they were broken, and the doctors told his parents “We think this kid is going to die soon now.”
The doctors said that if they could not perform tracheotomy on him right away, then there was only a 20% chance of survival during the next major surgery he would have to undergo. But even knowing this, his dad told the doctors“This kid sings, he’s a singer, his dream is to be able to sing; if you operate on his throat, then how could this kid live even if he survives?”
Then, a certain Wang Youngpil, a doctor who came from China and to whom Kyuhyun says he owes his life, took matters into his own hands and told Kyuhyun’s family that for the sake of Kyuhyun’s dream to sing, they would find another method to operate without harming his throat.
When Kyuhyun was told all this, about his dad’s resolve and how he fought for his son’s dream, he cried a lot. His dad protected his dream and did anything in his power to be sure the doctors wouldn’t make that dream dissolve while Kyuhyun couldn’t fight for it because he was still in a state of unconsciousness. But Kyuhyun especially cried because his father did all this despite the fact that he had always been against Kyuhyun’s dream of becoming a singer and had strongly opposed to it.
He is so thankful to his dad because if it’s not for him, we won’t see him singing on stage again. And thanks to the doctor who performed another method of operation so that he would be able to sing again. And above all, to God who gave him a second chance to live and that there are His reasons why he gave Kyuhyun such blessing.
So we, too, have to be thankful that he is still standing strong at the stage with his high voice singing for us, his fans. So KPOP fans, let’s wait for more of their pasts and keep supporing them. Kyuhyun hwaiting!"
♥,
S.S.H.
P.S.
SERIOUSLY... TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES. PLEASE. I heard about the SJ-M Happy Fan Meeting. Please, be safe.
♥ life sent to Kyu
11:41 PM
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
11th.
Dear Kyu,
The last day of school year is just awesome-st. Well of all my last school days... For the past three years of being a high school student, this couldn't be any MORE memorable. This is really the best. I mean... like yeah. I can't explain it much through words but the moments are treasured here in my heart. I promise oppa... I'm happy today.
:)
Well I can be really teary right now... Especially that I'm listening to Marry Your Daughter and you know it's the only english song I've been listening to these days. I know it's kinda old and forgotten and oh I'm just so not into English songs but KPOP, yah know that... And I can imagine you singing it to my dad like yeah. :")
Lol I was kidding, it would really be hard for you to memorize a whole english song but I know you're a genius. But still being a Math genius doesn't make you any English genius. haha! Just kidding, oppa. ^_^ Sparing myself from your death glares. :)))
So yeah.
I just don't know how to fully express how I feel right now. Partly, REAL HAPPY AND PARTYING TO DEATH. But partly saaad. Yeah, every good ends have their bittersweet tastes.
Come on, it's vacation and I can just waste time in every way that I want it. But still, it's vacation and I'm just gonna waste time. T_T But then again, it's freaking summer vacation. Partyyy!
Today is my first LAST DAY bonding with my servicemates. In our school, it's like a routine that every school services climbs up to Upland (that's how we call our place=there's also lowland) and freshen up our last school day to be spend especially with the seniors. :') In my three years of existence as an RCian, this is really my first. Well my last two years are to be thrown away, they're the worst. X_X
So anyway, yeah... :)
It was really awesome, my awesome service mates. Though unfortunately, our service driver left us. o_O So anyway, we just had to enjoy eating outside! :) And yeaaaaah, we had this one last bonding moment with our ONLY senior, Paulo. Don't be jealous oppa because we're really close. I don't know, I see him as a brother though not someone to be given respect lol just kidding. =)) I mean we're close close, not closeclose. Get it get it? Being in the same family as YFC and being together as service mates and school mates for three years, it really deepened the friendship and I must say I'm gonna miss his cheesy corny jokes and whenever he'll crack up a very, very funny joke. Like... he's Paulo and no one's like him. That now he's gonna leave his alma mater and that's how we're gonna leave too. We have to go on and now without him. Aww. :')
I cannot say it straight that I am going to miss this little guy *literally he's not that tall hahahaha!* because it would be very awkward, but then again, being part of each other's high school lives, I will miss this guy! \m/ Rock it. :)
God bless his college life! ^_^ Stay the same, Paulo!
Stop being jealous. XD
SO yeah, well... It was real cold in Tagaytay. And we had a bet to stay strong and eat ice cream hahahahaha we're crazy, right? So apparently, we did. All of us. XD
Hmm... my Dad being so kind fetched US, I mean like he was the service of our night! He dropped each of my service mates at home, and yeah. :) This day couldn't be awesome-r!
But there's a little pain inside my heart right now. Hah. My heart's been ripping apart, yah know that right? Still...
But since it's vacation, I must say I can finally move on and forget everything. And just as I started stepping forward, trying to find someone better, trying to find a better start, trying to find someone irreversible than him... I just lost another fight. no, not to him but to another person. It's not something serious though, but still I was sooo down.
Sometimes it sucks losing to different persons to the same girl. T_T
Sometimes, it sucks even more that she has always been a close friend to you, someone you know higher than you, someone superior than you, someone that you'll lose to even before you start fighting... someone to unreachable... someone so different than me. That whatever it is the he likes from that girl... it can never be the same as mine.
Like Taylor Swift's song... SHE'S GOT EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE TO LIVE WITHOUT.
I don't feel insecure... I just can't stop asking whyyy it has to be her always. Like whyyy. Just whyyyyyyy. T_T /wrist
I think perfection is just something never and will never be mine since it's hers. Only hers, it just sucks knowing I can't even try to be perfect because there's the fact that I can't. Forever.
So yeah, the topic's getting off.
He likes her. End of story. /wrist
Now he likes her too. Another story has begun. /dies
I'm just sad. I know. Life sucks too much, oppa. SO much I can't handle it anymore. T_T
AISH.
I'll be a better person this summer, I swear. ;) I want to be happy. Happy. Happy.
Stop minding these problems. :) Only LOVE. Only YOU A^_^
thanks for always being there to sit and read my letters to you... *if only you really will...* Have you seen my tag line?
LIFE SENT TO KYU.
Because if one would be reading my letters to Kyu, one has known my life.
I'll catch up with you next time. I know you always have busy schedules.
And please... whatever Heechul's undergoing these days, please send him my love. Aish. He was just mad in his last all english tweet. All bad words. Err... makes me worry. plus Donghae tweeted in an ALL ENGLISH too that he lost his phone and ipod, not sure if I should believe, it was just suspicious though. Anyway, send my regards to all! ^_^
♥,
S.S.H.
♥ life sent to Kyu
9:11 PM
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
10th.
Dear Kyu,
it's already quarter past nine in the evening... Well I know I should still be studying but AP's killing my head... It drains my brain. -.-
just so you know, oppa I'm updating from my handphone. Kekeke i just really wanna keep in touch with you throught these scribbles.
I just wanna check on you.
And to tell you that I'll be receiving a Special Award tomorrow at school as part of Recognition/honors' assembly. Most Active Forum Member. Told yah. I'm good at it. XD just kidding.
I was really surprised to receive an invitation and was really happy since it's very much unexpected.
I dedicate it to you, oppa. My hardworks as a writer for our school newspaper is for you. Oh did you know I wrote an article about you and it was published??? And our school newspaper is being sent nationwide to other Rogationists and even Worldwide. Omo, I just did help you get even more famous. Aish. Hahaha
anyway. Please take care.
And if Anne tells you something especially about me, just ignore what she's gonna say Hahahaha! Just kidding. XD
much love.
S.S.H.
P.s
i don't know how to make that solid filled heart on phone. Just this, <3.
♥ life sent to Kyu
9:23 PM
Monday, March 21, 2011
9th.
Dear Kyu,
I MISSED YOU. ~_~ Exams, blame it all on them. I've been studying real hard for this last shots. AND I ended up missing you, oppa -_-" But don't worry, we have TWO exams left on Wednesday, luckily we don't have classes tomorrow~! Last Holiday before the school year ends! I'm so happyyyy! But I'll be happier if I'm with you, oppa~ ^_^"
And oppa... CN BLUE'S COMEBACK ON MCOUNTDOWN WILL BE THIS THURSDAY! ^_^ And I already downloaded the First Step album ^_^ I'm soooo happy. The MV of Intuition was leaked. I hate to day this but I watched it. I know I shouldn't had... But anyway, I'll be downloading the official released so... I guess that'd be okay.
I just love the album since it's their first official album, songs are KOREAN! No more Japanese kekeke.~ Plus you know I'm a Boice first before becoming a crazy ELF right? Kekekeke. ^^
Anyway I just read an article concerning Heenim's injury during the LED board incident in Shanghai... I hope he's doing fine for REAL. I hate seeing him... that way--like he had to go to the hospital immediately after arriving in Korea. And that during SS3 Taiwan, he had to wear mask onstage just to avoid the fans seeing his injury. And in SS3 Malaysia--he was said to be just... too tamed. Like he was just silent and sitting all the while. Y_Y I told you, hurt everyone just not YOU and Hee because both are precious to me... well in different ways. ^_^ Because actually, the whole Super Junior is just so precious to me! ^_^
OPPA.
This is something real.
Being an avid KPOP FAN, I need to be a billionaire. --.
WELL... let's see.
2NE1's coming to Manila, PH this May 15. Damn it's vacation oppaaaa! Where to get money to buy ticket when there's no allowance. ERR. Oppa I wanna cryyyy. But swear, I need to attend that concert. BLACKJACK is me!
Being an avid KPOP FAN, I need to be a billionaire. --.
Because damn those albums costs Php500.00 at least. Though the old albums costs like Php 350/395/etc.00 And prolly those albums with hundreds of photos like Keep Your Head Down of TVXQ (or should we call it HoMin err -_-) prolly costs a thousand bucks.
Not all albums are released by Universal Records in PH, but... There are online sellers but still. MONEY MONEY MONEY.
Being an avid KPOP FAN, I need to be a billionaire. --.
Well because there are really lots of KPop events. And like. WHOA I wanna attend this and that and everything but I can't. TT_TT Sometimes, the KPop world needs to be a little less expensive. kekekeke ^_^
But anyway.
SNSD is rumored to be going to PH too sometime in September. WAEEE. But that time, I can already save money since we have school that time.
UKISS--not without Xander and Kibum. WAEYO?!?!?!?!?!?! I mean they just left the group, now they're rumored to be visiting PH again. And if I'm to attend (cause I'd love to), both of them prolly aren't with them anymore. Aish.
2AM-I'm not an avid or very strong I AM, because I'm more of a Hottest. But still. It's JYP and it's awesome and there's cutie Jo Kwon. AISH!
KPOP idols, why are you invading Philippines in a sudden???
JUST INVADE MY HOUSE INSTEAD!
=))
OPPA. You know I've been making this cute scenarios of YOU AND ME and I send it as a group message. Hah! Many people reacted. =)) I bet it was really funny since you're that EVIL KYU as you are and always leaving the 'me' part speechless.
Alright. I'm to download to many KPop vids and Super Junior Foresight--still looking for a clearer english subbed and UNbroken links. You were just too cute with those... Sorry Sorry versions. Hah! I totally laughed with that cut. =)))))
^_^
Hope you rest well after your SS3 SHOWS!
Regards to everyone. ^_^
♥,
S.S.H.
P.S.
I want to be a billionaire, you should share some of your riches to me oppa. Kekekeke ^_^
♥ life sent to Kyu
2:55 PM
Thursday, March 17, 2011
8th.
Dear Kyu,
Gaah, it's been days. T_T I'm sorry, I was really busy complying with the requirements for clearance. PLUS, exams were supposed to start on Monday and now it's moved tomorrow (Friday) and we freakishly have four exams tomorrow and I'm dying. TT_TT
Well I'm actually done studying but I don't think I studied well so I decided to review again. Stupid me.
I wish I'm as intelligent and smart and everything good as you! ~_~ Aish. Y U SO GOOD TT_TT
And yikes, I updated the Yesung fic I was making, tell the turtle to read it and tell me how was it! ^_^ and I miss you on my Tumblr because I haven't been reblogging that much. Aish.
Anyway, I have to go scan this notes for Kamille. Scanner's acting up, stupid scanner. I'm gonna die cursing our scanner. T_T
I'll talk to you next time.
Please be well. :)
♥,
S.S.H.
P.S. I can read and write Hangul now... maybe just not that well YET. XD
♥ life sent to Kyu
7:09 PM
Monday, March 14, 2011
7th.
Dear Kyu,
It's like it's been a week since I started this little letters to you in a blog.
Well I hope we'll be okay now and I understand that you were just tired from a three-day Super Show 3 in Taiwan. Forgiven. ^_^
Oh and by the way, I'm trying to learn hangul/korean... Teach me too sometime!
I'm finally done with my lecture in Filipino, such a great achievement and just an epic fail that I only got 7 days to complete my clearance and I only got 4 signatures. Aish...
I don't have much to say as of now, and I promise to tell you things that I really need to jot down for you. Well... let's see.
I wanted to dance this afternoon after school... then I remembered my brother's already home. Aah! Please congratulate him, he'll be graduating Cum Laude in Ateneo De Manila University. ^^~ I think someone's better than Kyu after all. Just kidding ^^v
My sister finally became an official BOICE, a new Boice. Well who knew she'd like this band the same as meeee! Plus, she likes Jungshin, which I didn't really find so attracting, but yeah! He's tall and all. And that I like Jonghyun better than anyone, next is Minhyuk... And Yonghwa and Jungshin being the last. ^^" But anyway, it's about the whole band so I totally like CN BLUE! ^_^ And I'm proud my sister is too!!!
The difference between my sister and I is that...
I'm a strong ELF.
She's a strong S♥NE.
and I'm a very avid KPop fan. She's still a starter or a hoobae!
But still... we're quite a fan of each biases. ^^" Just to not confuse you.
You know Anne right? Yaah, Hyuk's ♥ hahaha. Well I just want you to know I really really like her for being a very supportive SUNBAE to meeee~! ^_^ When in fact I'm her unnie. ^^" And Ykkah, both are my sunbaes. And Marra! I wanna get to know her better yah know? Maybe one time! ^_^
That's all for now, and tell me about your Taipei experience, and you know... The sad news that happened in Japan. -_- I didn't really want to see or watch the news or else I might get traumatized by the incident and can't sleep at all like before. But hearing the news was inevitable and I saw pictures online and boogsh, my heart was squished. T_T Let's keep on praying together.
And EXAMS are coming... something I need to get my focus on. ~_~
♥,
S.S.H.
♥ life sent to Kyu
5:06 PM
Sunday, March 13, 2011
6th
Dear Kyu,
I know you're still mad at me about last night. Jeongmal mianhae... Jeongmal mianhae.
But I won't ever forget remembering you, even just for a second, I won't. Been thinking about you the whole day... Aish. Drama, let's stop this, shall we? T_T
Well anyway, I'm almost done with my lecture in Filipino, maybe in three days I'm done... And... I watched Koizora--a Japanese movie, I guess?-- well it's really beautiful. And sad. T_T How can love be so cruel. TT_TT
I've also watched A Crazy Little Thing Called Love last night... Though these stories are simple, I still think deeper within... love. It's all about love. All about what I don't have right now. -_- That feeling when I thought there was really something, and then the day came that revealed there was nothing, I felt as if I was nothing at the same time.
Some hearts can't just heal after being broken.
I hope mine will.
Anyway, I was reading some of KYU fan fics, hah! You have total differences, :") mad kyu, rude kyu, sweet kyu, jealous kyu, cute kyu, aish. Kyu, please forgive me for last night... I promised right? That I won't be doing that anymore, never again.
Drinking won't heal broken hearts. I know that now.
Please...
♥,
S.S.H
♥ life sent to Kyu
1:28 AM
Friday, March 11, 2011
5th.
Dear Kyu,
I have to apologize first for writing this one really late. I'll explain things before you totally get mad, and please don't misunderstand things.
I am not feeling well. Not that I'm sick or something, I just don't feel so okay. TT_TT
Why do I need to dwell in the past that all I ever wished to be my tomorrow and future??? Explain whyyy.
Alright, breathe in, breathe out.
Kyu, I want to thank you for praying for our section, we got the second place though we really hoped to get the first... Well if we did, we'll get exempted in the exam. Well maybe we weren't enough, and it was an epic fail. Practices were even better. I TOTALLY SCREWED UP ON STAGE.
Well because I really got nervous, totally nervous.
But still gomawo~ oppa~^^ Tell Siwon-oppa too. ^^" and for everyone wishing us luck!
But right now, I'm really to get scolded by KYU... aish Kyuhyun-oppa, I'm really all stupid and everything fool.
It's MC's birthday and we celebrated, well you know I'm all broken, and I haven't forgotten everything totally, and I'm still trying to erase everything... and I wanted to drink up the pain. T_T I took shots, but I'm all okay. I know, I swear it'll never be repeated. Promise. I promise, Kyu. ~_~ I felt guilty to be this crazy just because of a heart break, he doesn't deserve me to being like this. -_- Because when I thought I was with him, I was actually alone and there was you. Don't worry, but please don't be mad at me, Kyuuu. ^_^ I swear to forget him and avoid him all my life. ;)
And the fact that I'm home right now, I hope it makes you feel I'm safe. ;)
And tonight's the last time I'll be talking myself a broken-hearted person. ;)
I've finished the I ♥ Seohyun shirt. ;) Still needs adjustments, but won't since it already fits. I'll do yours on vacation so I'll have something to do. ^_^
If you've got time, I'd love to hear your voice again. I miss you and I need you...
Regrets. Regrets. Regrets. I promise to be good. Just for you, Kyu-oppa~ ^^
♥,
S.S.H.
♥ life sent to Kyu
11:45 PM
Thursday, March 10, 2011
4th.
Dear Kyu,
I have no news about you, are you still alive or something? -_- Just kidding, I mean... yaaah, you're just that respected in the industry, no issues, too clean yet evilish maknae. tch.
Well anyway, I submitted an application to Kpop Directory in Tumblr--my tumblr's 95% about you, yah know? Aish, when will Super Junior use Tumblr! Hah! It's really loaded with Kpop stuffs, well mine's loaded with YOU. BTW, sometimes I get confused--writing YOU and KYU. Aish.
KYOU. LOL
And yah know what? I always get that weird smile on me whenever I saw pictures of you with your long hair, or bed hair, or... short hair. Hah! Because Heechul-oppa has been changing her, I mean his, hairstyle like every month, literally every month. :)) I admire HIM for that! ^_^ Well he's pretty, you're handsome.
Oh, that! I actually categorized you guys.
CUTE - Henry, Sungmin, Shindong, and Wookie-oppa.
Handsome - Donghae, Zhou Mi, Kangin, Yesung-oppa, Hankyung (though he's not counted as a part of SJ anymore T_T), Kibum and hell of the place he is, where on earth is heeee??? T_T
HOT - Siwon and his 8-pack abs, ^^v, Eunhyuk and his awesome dancing skills, Leeteuk-ssi because... he's a very HOT looking ajusshi!
Pretty, Beautiful, Goddess - Heechul-oppa. ^_^
Aah, if you missed your name....
It's categorized as MINE. Yah know? =P
Today, I got my newest embarrassing and most hilarious moment in my entire life. OMG.
I danced to SNSD's Genie in front of my classmates (well not all of them), it's because Sandra danced to Lucifer and, aish! Genie is my masterpiece! ^^ What the heck was going on in my mind??? Aish!!! I danced and... just after dancing, I felt so shyyyy!!! Not to mention HE was there. ~_~ Well anyway, my KPop life wouldn't die without him. Aish, I should stop talking about him, right?
Oh so again, I danced. and for everyone who saw that, who saw or rather WATCHED me dance, please forget I did that, or better yet, forget my existence!!! Aigoo, that was really epic. lol ^^"
Oh anyway... I've been reblogging Heechul-things too much on my tumblr, don't kill the goddess, evil maknae ^^~ And there's a picture of you together like two years ago. LOL at both of you. ^_^ He's still very pretty. And... you're mine forever like yeah XD
My knees still hurt, oppa. TT_TT but tomorrow's the big day! And wish us luck and send your prayers! ^_^ Tell Siwon to pray for us, kekeke ^^, And mind you, my last meal was this morning--hunger that practices cause. But still all for this, for my beloved section, I'm willing to do anything!! ^_^ Yaah, SFX is just that dedicated. ;)
I've been winking a lot these past weeks... Ah, SNSD thingy which they do it awesome-ly, omg. They're really beautifull dolls alive. ^_^ And uh, there's always a problem whenever I wear contact lenses on my left eye, err. It gets dry easier than the right, tch.
And please stop bugging my Anne-sunbaenim for your fic. Hah! We're all busy at school so please understand, and don't mind her husband, Hyukjae, for bothering you about my fic... As if he plays a very, very, major, major role =))) and tell Yesung-oppa to wait a little longer. ^_^
Mind your StarCraft thingy, as she said =))
Alright, I'm gonna to some stitching/sewing on the shirts I've been making for two days... or nights rather. ^^"
Gomawo Oppa for accepting my biases. Anyway, don't be too evil saying you're the handsome-st. Because you're MINE. XD
♥,
S.S.H.
♥ life sent to Kyu
6:19 PM
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
3rd.
Dear Kyu,
Gah. I wish this day could be any better. It just can't get any worse. ~_~
Last. I know I shouldn't be talking about him but I know you know it's inevitable. Aish. Well he went to school today, and I saw that familiar jacket that's why I was able to avoid him easily. I may sound real rude and bad, but I wish he didn't go to school for some personal reasons I just CAN'T take seeing him. But things happen, and yeah. It's impossible to wish for someone to disappear. But either way, I can just be the one to disappear. Stop existing or something like that. Yeah, I can't believe I'm wishing for myself to be like a bubble and soon disappear. Emo. Emoish. I am so not me. TT_TT
This kills. But remember old sayings??? LIFE GOES ON.
Thank you for calling last night, I really, really appreciate it. I know you're tired from SJ-M promotions and Suju Foresight tapings and everything 'KYU'-ish. I was too selfish to let you call me, and I know you fell asleep while we the call was still up so I just said goodnight and ended the call. Were you that tired? I told you to take care of yourself because I cannot be there to take care of you. XD
And yeah, your voice was awesome though you're tired. Thank you for singing 'Love Again' to me, and I miss you with SM The Ballad, yah know? I want that Jino-Jjong-Jay and Kyu together onstage. Have you noticed it? You're the only one with 'K' as the initial of the name. Y U ALWAYS VIP??? LOL just kidding. ^^
I mean... the song you sang was really sweet. :') Aish, if you didn't fall asleep you could have heard me say those WORDS too!
Hah! I just want you to regret sleeping on me. TT_TT Just kidding, just your voice was enough for me to feel okay, be fine, and... finish the shirt I was designing/printing/painting. Screw me, you'd hate me for this but that was a S♥NE shirt, XD Soon I'll make a CHO KYUHYUN shirt, don't worry! I'll show it to you first and you make a 'SHIN SUNG HYE' shirt too. XD I'll put 'I ♥ CHO KYUHYUN' I guess you know what to put on yours? Hah! Just kidding. ;)
Oh, don't get jealous if I like listening to other KPop groups, you'd always know SUPER JUNIOR is on the top of my list. ;) Because there's no other KYU in my world, yah know? And don't dare killing my biases. Especially SEOHYUN since... uh, you're the UNofficial SMEnt couple right? *me jealouuuus* and I ship her and Yonghwa to death, aigoo. They're so cute together!!! And Krystal because she's too precious and so beautiful. ;)
Oh wait, were you talking about G.O.? Ah, and Taemin, Jonghyun of CNB, Taecyeon, Kevin ... Aish, don't fight with Taecyeon, he's much older than you. Don't be that way kekekeke ^^
Oppa...
I'm hurt.... physically. OMO, I'm also hurt emotionally. My life sucks, I know~
Both of my knees are filled with bruises because of our Speech Choir in Filipino. Well just for our class, I endure the pain. :') and since you're a strong Christian, please pray for our section! ^^ Gomawo oppa! ^_^
Heenim, I really miss his tweets. He isn't updating that much these days. I bet he's still feeling bad. :( And YOU, Y U NO UPDATES??? Aish. Twitter is a part of my life yah know. Pssh.
Aish, oppaaaaaa.
I'll be offline this early, x( well it was my decision though kekekke^^ I'd be finishing the t-shirt. ;)
Kyuuuuuu-oppa. I've been singing IU's Someday T_T
Well the song's really good, Dream High's the best... and Taecyeon's just pretty hot. :P
I'll sing this song to you one day, ;) Hah! So you won't be bothering me to sing a song for you anymore just wait till I memorize the song ;)
I hope you won't be like Mom who's asking me to record myself dancing... I've been dancing to SNSD's Genie for a while now. ^_^ I know, too girlyyyyy.
Oppa, I need to go! Annyong~! ^^
♥,
S.S.H.
♥ life sent to Kyu
5:26 PM
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
2nd.
Dear Kyu,
How are you today? My day was uh... *insert straight face here*.
So let's put it this way... I'm okay, not really okay-okay, but I know I'm somehow fine (or maybe that's how I wanna be :|). Well maybe because his presence weren't there. I know it's too selfish to wish not to see him as long as the pain is still there. But I do wish for it, not that I wish for him to stop existing, but whatever it is that reminds me of him makes me feel stupid. I'm weird that way, but hey... How do you expect me to move on? Run like a rat? Damn Kyu. T_T Sometimes and always... I wish it could be easier than I can say it. Like eating a cake. Well it feels like eating a cake with my most hated flavor.
You know him, right? The one that I'm talking about.
I wanna stop talking about him, right after this, I swear all of hell I will stop. Because there's a life after death. Yeah, I think I told everyone yesterday that I died? Oh mianhae Kyu... I totally died yesterday and I forgot to tell you. But I was blessed with another day, and yeah. Maybe God wanted this to happen, it's His plan. :')
No, yesterday I wanted to stop existing. But of course, just a single reason to make me stay will make me stay. And I've got thousands of reasons to stay, to live my life. My family, my SHREP, my friends, classmates, studies, uhmm... KPop? And of course, you. ^^
Six months ago, my heart was being torn into pieces each day... Well he picked up the pieces he broke himself and now he can't just put back the pieces perfectly. I thought I can help him fix my heart, hah! But I ended up... letting him do it alone, and there I go, broken again. It doesn't make sense to really say these things, if I have to let go, I should stop talking.
Let's just make it simple because I don't want to reminisce everything we had... or everything I THOUGHT we really had.
MY HEART WAS BROKEN BY THE SAME PERSON TWICE, HOW CAN I BE STUPIDER???
Yeah, that says it all... But don't worry about me, it feels like being broken has been a part of my life, but that six months I thought we can be together and I can be happy... he wasn't half as much as happy at all. He was like... forcing himself to get the right feelings for me. That sucks, I know. TT_TT He acted as if he really cared, as if he really feels something... Bless him for he apologized about that.
I know it hurts, though things were left unclear, I guess I can understand.
Because I think I'd really regret whatever I should not regret if this thing between us would go on when indeed, I was the only one loving. Hah! I was carrying my own load, I thought he was helping me and now it turned out... I'm too stupid, the load I was carrying was really heavy though.
Alright... *sigh*
I really wish you'd be here to console me. T_T I'm not very happy, and as it turns out... I really can't explain how a second heartbreak feels from the same person. Have you experienced such? I wanna knoooow. Like how do I move on, how can I be okay aside from pretending? The only sad thing about smiles is when you fake it.
There are songs that I've been singing since yesterday...
First: Mistake - SNSD... Aish! During the first time he broke my heart, (or call it the 100th time, lol), I was already singing this song T_T And now, I can't believe I'm gonna sing this song again. Y_Y Whyyyyyy.
"For not making you love me more, it's my mistake. For making myself love you more, it's my mistake. For not making you love me the way I wanted you to, it's my mistake."
Second: Because of you - After School... I didn't get the meaning of the song at first, I just appreciated the dance of this one \m/ But now... Feels like somebody wrote the song in advance for me. TT_TT
"I tried to be your only girl and did you ever understand my heart?Now it became the compass of a broken heart. I cried a lot because of you, I laughed a lot because of you, I BELIEVED IN LOVE BECAUSE OF YOU, I've lost everything because of you."
Third: Without u - 2PM...I thought I can only like the rhythm of the song, and the six freakishly hot guys (though you're hotter you know that lol^^) dancing to it, now seems like it's the second song written for me.
"I'm gonna be stronger." Just the first line and it's... BANG!
"Fine, breaking up is better. This was going to happen between us anyway. You were going to do this anyway, this is better--better than falling deeper in love anyway. I think of it as fortunate that's why I'm okay. I gave you my all, I believed you so I gave my all. But you threw that away. I gave you my everything, so I'm gonna be okay... I'm gonna be okay, I'll be okay, gonna be okay baby without you."
Hey, what's your song for meeeee????
But please don't be mad at him. He didn't do anything wrong, he just broke my heart and didn't do that on purpose. I mean... I'm gonna let him go and set him free, and let's stop dealing with him, arraso? He's meant to be forgotten now, I'm meant to find someone else. That's why I've been looking for you. ^^"
Someday we'll both see the right persons for us, someone who's more than who we are, who'll accept us on who we are at our worsts, someone who's different.
It can't probably be the two of us anymore.
I'm not willing to stay, I'm willing to accept another chance. I'm willing to walk my way, peacefully and alone. (Well probably with SHREP yah know that, right?)
That's all. I'll tell you detailed story when you call me tonight. ^^ (this is how this thing works, as if Kyu and I existed in real life, fangirling, right?)
Thank you, Kyu for sending your reply to my letter last night. Well I really need to complete my lecture in Filipino. T_T And for being honest that indeed I am stupid and you like the way I am stupid. (Y U SO EVIL??? lol^^)
I skipped my math tutor again today just to write this letter to you! Aish.
Oh, about the fic... Let Yesung-oppa know I'm trying to find time to write it. The next chapters are... how do I explain this... Aish. Tell him NO SPOILERS allowed from the author! XD
And tell Heenim... HI. and how is he??? Is he okay now? I mean I wanted to fly to Shanghai when that incident happened!!! AISH!
Take care, oppa and congratulations for hitting the top charts in China and Taiwan! ^^ PERFECTION! And you ought to teach me the dance steps... the right way. ^^v
Annyong, oppa! I have a little surprise to my sister. ^^ and I'm gonna start tonight!
♥,
S.S.H.
♥ life sent to Kyu
5:23 PM
Monday, March 7, 2011
Dear Kyu,
Well first, annyeonghaseyo!
I'm finally back blogging, and I've got a lot of stories to tell... Uh, Kyu... Have you noticed the changes on my blog? I changed a lot, well.. mostly to YOU. :")
This idea of Letters To Kyu was supposed to be of the next fan fiction I'd be writing soon--you as the main character. But I just stole my own idea and brought it to reality. =)
Aish. I wish you'd be here to comfort me. Now is the perfect time I wish you'd appear like a genie in front of me and grant me wishes.
I wanted to tell you what happened to me today and how worst my day was.
Kyu, do you think I'm stupid? Please answer honestly, I'd like to know your opinion. Yes or No.
I'll be off earlier--my mom's urging to use the computer. I wish she won't see my emo-posts. And that I have to comply with school requirements. I skipped my Math tutor today... Well because it should have been you who will tutor me~!!! I wish I'm as good as you in Math, I totally suck in Geometry, Trigonometry and everything MATH!!! Aish, please give me a part of your brain! I envy you for being good at school. ~_~
So that's all for tonight, I hope you find time to rest since you're all busy with your SJ-M promotions. Please take care of your health, as I try to fix my twice-broken heart.
That's the main story I was supposed to tell you.
I'll tell you tomorrow~
Annyong!
♥,
S.S.H. (Shin Sung Hye--my Korean name ^^).
P.S. Please say hi to the boys. XD
♥ life sent to Kyu
7:37 PM
Dear Kyu,
Well first, annyeonghaseyo!
I'm finally back blogging, and I've got a lot of stories to tell... Uh, Kyu... Have you noticed the changes on my blog? I changed a lot, well.. mostly to YOU. :")
This idea of Letters To Kyu was supposed to be of the next fan fiction I'd be writing soon--you as the main character. >.<>
Not all good things come to an end, some best things do also. >.<>
So that's all for tonight, I hope you find time to rest since you're all busy with your SJ-M promotions. Please take care of your health, as I try to fix my twice-broken heart.
That's the main story I was supposed to tell you.
I'll tell you tomorrow~
Annyong!
♥
S.S.H. (Shin Sung Hye--my Korean name ^^).
P.S. Please say hi to the boys. XD
♥ life sent to Kyu
7:37 PM
