I ♥

11th.

Dear Kyu,

The last day of school year is just awesome-st. Well of all my last school days... For the past three years of being a high school student, this couldn't be any MORE memorable. This is really the best. I mean... like yeah. I can't explain it much through words but the moments are treasured here in my heart. I promise oppa... I'm happy today.

:)

Well I can be really teary right now... Especially that I'm listening to Marry Your Daughter and you know it's the only english song I've been listening to these days. I know it's kinda old and forgotten and oh I'm just so not into English songs but KPOP, yah know that... And I can imagine you singing it to my dad like yeah. :")

Lol I was kidding, it would really be hard for you to memorize a whole english song but I know you're a genius. But still being a Math genius doesn't make you any English genius. haha! Just kidding, oppa. ^_^ Sparing myself from your death glares. :)))

So yeah.

I just don't know how to fully express how I feel right now. Partly, REAL HAPPY AND PARTYING TO DEATH. But partly saaad. Yeah, every good ends have their bittersweet tastes.

Come on, it's vacation and I can just waste time in every way that I want it. But still, it's vacation and I'm just gonna waste time. T_T But then again, it's freaking summer vacation. Partyyy!

Today is my first LAST DAY bonding with my servicemates. In our school, it's like a routine that every school services climbs up to Upland (that's how we call our place=there's also lowland) and freshen up our last school day to be spend especially with the seniors. :') In my three years of existence as an RCian, this is really my first. Well my last two years are to be thrown away, they're the worst. X_X

So anyway, yeah... :)

It was really awesome, my awesome service mates. Though unfortunately, our service driver left us. o_O So anyway, we just had to enjoy eating outside! :) And yeaaaaah, we had this one last bonding moment with our ONLY senior, Paulo. Don't be jealous oppa because we're really close. I don't know, I see him as a brother though not someone to be given respect lol just kidding. =)) I mean we're close close, not closeclose. Get it get it? Being in the same family as YFC and being together as service mates and school mates for three years, it really deepened the friendship and I must say I'm gonna miss his cheesy corny jokes and whenever he'll crack up a very, very funny joke. Like... he's Paulo and no one's like him. That now he's gonna leave his alma mater and that's how we're gonna leave too. We have to go on and now without him. Aww. :')

I cannot say it straight that I am going to miss this little guy *literally he's not that tall hahahaha!* because it would be very awkward, but then again, being part of each other's high school lives, I will miss this guy! \m/ Rock it. :)

God bless his college life! ^_^ Stay the same, Paulo!

Stop being jealous. XD

SO yeah, well... It was real cold in Tagaytay. And we had a bet to stay strong and eat ice cream hahahahaha we're crazy, right? So apparently, we did. All of us. XD

Hmm... my Dad being so kind fetched US, I mean like he was the service of our night! He dropped each of my service mates at home, and yeah. :) This day couldn't be awesome-r!

But there's a little pain inside my heart right now. Hah. My heart's been ripping apart, yah know that right? Still...

But since it's vacation, I must say I can finally move on and forget everything. And just as I started stepping forward, trying to find someone better, trying to find a better start, trying to find someone irreversible than him... I just lost another fight. no, not to him but to another person. It's not something serious though, but still I was sooo down.

Sometimes it sucks losing to different persons to the same girl. T_T

Sometimes, it sucks even more that she has always been a close friend to you, someone you know higher than you, someone superior than you, someone that you'll lose to even before you start fighting... someone to unreachable... someone so different than me. That whatever it is the he likes from that girl... it can never be the same as mine.

Like Taylor Swift's song... SHE'S GOT EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE TO LIVE WITHOUT.

I don't feel insecure... I just can't stop asking whyyy it has to be her always. Like whyyy. Just whyyyyyyy. T_T /wrist

I think perfection is just something never and will never be mine since it's hers. Only hers, it just sucks knowing I can't even try to be perfect because there's the fact that I can't. Forever.

So yeah, the topic's getting off.

He likes her. End of story. /wrist

Now he likes her too. Another story has begun. /dies

I'm just sad. I know. Life sucks too much, oppa. SO much I can't handle it anymore. T_T

AISH.

I'll be a better person this summer, I swear. ;) I want to be happy. Happy. Happy.

Stop minding these problems. :) Only LOVE. Only YOU A^_^

thanks for always being there to sit and read my letters to you... *if only you really will...* Have you seen my tag line?

LIFE SENT TO KYU.

Because if one would be reading my letters to Kyu, one has known my life.

I'll catch up with you next time. I know you always have busy schedules.

And please... whatever Heechul's undergoing these days, please send him my love. Aish. He was just mad in his last all english tweet. All bad words. Err... makes me worry. plus Donghae tweeted in an ALL ENGLISH too that he lost his phone and ipod, not sure if I should believe, it was just suspicious though. Anyway, send my regards to all! ^_^

♥,

S.S.H.